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Cruel to be kind
by neonmeatdreams @ 2008-01-21 - 13:26:42

Ok so Ive decided I finally had enough of the current girlfriend and its time to move on to pastures new. However now comes the most difficult part of any relationship the breaking up.

Now, I have a particular problem with this. I once went out with a girl for about four years, during this period of insanity I must have broken up with her about 5 times and we would always get back together!

Now I think this may have something to do with the way we broke up, I would usually start by saying 'oh you know I like you alot but lets be friends etc etc' and then Id say how great a person she is and tell her we need to stay in touch etc. Basically a load of bullshit because I didnt want to upset her or hurt her any more than neccessary.

Anyway, like I say we always ended up getting back together. So, heres the question, should I act like this towards the current girlfriend and risk leaving the seed of possible reconciliation in her mind or should I act cruel to be kind and tell the bitch to fuck off!

That does sound a bit to nasty though...

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Tags: bitch, cows, girlfriend, hurt, kind, pastures,

 
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happylady1happylady1 [Member]
2008-01-21 @ 14:21

I don't think you need to tell her to F off. Sometimes relationships do involve difficult decisions.

I would just say its not working for you and you want to split up. She'll probably ask why, just say that you're not happy with the relationship and don't want to carry it on when its not going to go anywhere.

You don't need to give excuses cos you've got a right to make a decision thats right for you. Don't make promises that you don't want to keep like staying in touch. If she feels cross/angry then its her problem and leave it at that.

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neonmeatdreamsneonmeatdreams [Member]
2008-01-21 @ 16:14

I know that its her problem if she gets angry or cross but despite the fact i want to break up with her she is still my friend and i dont want to upset her. Its a catch 22 I guess.

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10loves1010loves10 [Member]
2008-01-21 @ 16:45

Wouldn't advise calling her a 'bitch' in the breaking up process she might strangle your cat or clap you round the jaw or something...but I would advise being honest. Tell her you want out and why and don't rule out reconciliation in case one day it's you who wants to reconcile.

P.S Should have gone for option B like I suggested. (See 'To dump or not to dump' post for details) Haha.

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neonmeatdreamsneonmeatdreams [Member]
2008-01-22 @ 12:37

Ha I know, hindsight is a wonderful thing! Thanks for the advice, my cats have been removed to a safe house for their own protection but my jaw will have to fend for itself.

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DominicGeeDominicGee [Member]
2008-02-12 @ 14:17

My suggestion would be to let the relationship drag on for a few more months allowing her to slowly realise that she's flogging a dead horse. After some time, when self-esteem is at a low, both of you are thinking of (or probably have) cheating on each other. Eventually even the smallest thing will put 'a lot of strain' on the whole relationship and you'll find each other just slowly drifting apart. She will resent you for being too much of a coward and not telling her straight away, and you will have developed such a loathing for her you couln't care less. This way, there is no chance of a reconcilliation, but it takes a long time and a certain degree of callousness, self-loathing and determination.

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neonmeatdreamsneonmeatdreams [Member]
2008-02-12 @ 16:50

Lol. Yep I've already been through that method with a previous girlfriend, or she went through it with me anyway! Thanks for the advice but its all over and done with now anyway I just got straight to the point and after a few tears that was it.

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